Looks Can’t Kill, But Pranksters Can Prank!
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: Oneshot side story to GNF, chapter 17. What did Harry do to the secretary for glaring at Naruto that made even the Hokage’s ANBU guards have to stifle their laughter? Read to find out. Can be read alone. Has bits and pieces from GNF, Chapter 17.


Nancy was one of the Hokage's secretaries. And as such she was 'in' on some of the things that happened around the tower, that no one else knew. Like the fact that the Demon Brat had a relative who was going to take care of him. Hopefully far away from Konoha.

"Um…Ms. Secretary Lady?" a small voice said. Nancy looked down to find the Demon Brat already here. She started glared at the small blonde child, just as Kakashi walked in with a black-haired man and a red-headed child in tow.

* * *

Harry followed Kakashi back to the Hokage's office. They entered the tower to see the secretary glaring at a small blonde child. Harry's eyes narrowed. That better not be his nephew, the secretary was glaring at. Kakashi picked the blonde up from behind and headed into the Hokage's office, glaring at the secretary as he went. The secretary scowled and sent him an annoyed glance, at least until she saw Harry. Harry's was glaring so hard at her, she had though her heart had stopped for a moment. It was this moment that made Nancy glad that looks _couldn't_ kill. Harry went followed Kakashi and the red-headed child into the Hokage's office, and shut the door behind him. 

"As you can see," Kakashi said, "Not a lot of people like little Naruto here." Harry snorted, pulling his son into his lap, before turning to Sarutobi.

"If your secretary screams while in the vicinity of a mirror, don't worry. That just means she finally saw my little gift to her."

"What did you do?" Sarutobi asked, as Kakashi and Naruto got up and looked out the door at the secretary.

"Oh, you'll see," Harry replied, grinning. Kakashi and Naruto returned to their seats. Naruto was wearing a big grin and Sarutobi could see that Kakashi was trying his best not to laugh. Sarutobi pouted a little but brushed it aside for the matter at hand.

* * *

Nancy looked up as the door to the Hokage's office opened and Kakashi and Naruto peeked out. She quickly returned to her work, not seeing the grin Naruto was wearing at the sight of her. After all, she hasn't been anywhere near a mirror since her shift started. She never noticed the two ANBU guards trying not to laugh at her.

* * *

"Naruto, I would like you to meet Harry, and his son Gaara," Sarutobi said. Naruto gave a shy wave to them. Harry smiled at Naruto. 

"These are you're cousins," Sarutobi continued, "And they're willing to take you in, if you're okay with that." Naruto nodded, while Gaara whispered in Harry's ear, "He's like me, except his is bigger."

"I have the adoption papers here, so you can have custody of him," Sarutobi said, handing Harry the papers, before turning back to Naruto, "Now, Naruto, you've been asking about you're family for quite some time now. I wasn't able to tell you before for security reasons, but I can now." Naruto snapped to attention, wanting to hear about his parents. Harry listened closely as well, wanting to know what the rest of his family was like.

"Your mother's name was Kuri. She the last descendant of the Shiawase clan. Her clan always had a great amount of luck, not all of it good, which is why they were wiped out. It was very lucky of your mother to meet your father. Although I don't think he appreciated getting smacked in the head by a book that she had thrown at someone else. His name was Arashi Kazama. You might better know him as the Yondaime Hokage."

"The Yondaime was my dad?" Naruto asked, "But then why does everyone hate me? They call him the hero of the village."

"That's because the Yondaime died fighting the Kyuubi," Sarutobi said, sadly, "But he didn't kill the fox like everyone says. He sealed him, inside you, at the cost of his own life. It was his final wish that you be treated as a hero, but the villagers don't wish to respect that. They believe that you are the demon fox, not just it's container."

"Am I the fox?"

"No, Naruto, you are not," Harry said, pulling the blonde onto his lap with Gaara, "The fox is sealed inside you like Shukaku is sealed inside Gaara, "But that does not make you the fox, nor does it make Gaara Shukaku. Do you understand?" Naruto nodded.

"So you still want to take care of me?"

"Of course," Harry smiled. The group stayed in the office, talking about things from Naruto's parents to the weather to where the three males were going to stay.

"Kakashi, you wouldn't mind showing them to the Kazama compound, would you? And Harry, we'll talk later about Shukaku," Sarutobi asked.

"Of course not, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied, as Harry nodded. Sarutobi walked with them to the door.

* * *

Nancy looked up when the door opened again. She absentmindedly noticed the grins on the faces of Kakashi, Naruto, Harry, and Gaara as they left, before going back to her work. 

Sarutobi saw the four males leave and noticed that his ANBU guards were shaking with silent laughter. He followed their gaze to his secretary.

"Oh, my."

"Oh, my." Nancy looked up.

"Hokage-sama? Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Oh, no. No. Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all," Sarutobi said with a smile, before going back into his office. One of the ANBU guards let out a snicker, and Nancy could hear the chuckles the Hokage made before he shut the door fully. Muttering about psychotic ninjas she went back to her work, waiting for her shift to be over.

It was only a few moments later that Nikki, the next shift's secretary came in. Nikki stifled her laughter at the sight of Nancy.

"Something wrong?" Nancy asked, as she packed up her stuff to leave.

"No, nothing," Nikki choked out. Nancy decided that people were just acting strange today. She decided to go to the bathroom before leaving. After doing her business she washed her hands and then looked in the mirror.

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

"Why did you do that to the secretary lady?" Naruto asked, as Kakashi led them to the compound. 

"She was glaring at you," Harry explained, "And nobody messes with my family." An earsplitting scream came from the Hokage tower.

"And she finally looked in a mirror," Harry chuckled.

"It's about time," Kakashi said. Naruto grinned again.

* * *

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" 

The ANBU rushed into the room, thinking it might be an enemy nin or something. Then they caught sight of Nancy. This time none of them tried to stop laughing. It was pretty funny after all. If I had a picture I'd show you. Oh, wait, I do! Just E-mail me for it!

Nancy had ankle length rainbow hair. She grabbed at it wondering what happened to her perfect brown hair. Her shirt had been changed to yellow with the words 'I suck' in red. Her jacket had turned to neon pink. Her pants stayed the same but the words 'idiot' and 'dufus' were written in the same bright green that 'loser' was written on in her face. Her eyes popped out of her head.

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

I really do have a picture of it. I drew it with paint. My drawing sucks. So while the picture is funny, it still sucks. If you want it email me at runewitch (dash) sakura (at) excite (dot) com. YOU NEED TO PUT 'Secretary' IN THE SUBJECT!!!!!! I will send you the picture as an attachment. It's a bitmap image. And if you can't get anything over 974 KB in attachments (kinda sad), tell me. If I get any e-mails for it, I'll send it out on whatever Friday comes next, provided my computer is working right. 

Rune


End file.
